Intelligence: A Paradox
What is intelligence, really? I find it to be a paradox somewhat for me. I’m so intelligent that I’m actually stupid. I find that my exam marks don’t mean very much. I torture myself for these grades, and I don’t get very much satisfaction out of them. I don’t eat, I hardly sleep, and I study like crazy in the few days leading up to the final exams; these would equate me to somewhat of a fool, right? Some people are very deceived by me. They think I’m a consistent student. What is my secret? I torture myself half to death cramming at the last minute, always, everytime, without fail, every semester, every year. With the exception of English and particularly simple math courses, I do this for every single subject. So I don’t actually know if I’m intelligent - maybe I just have very excellent cramming skills.
And what exactly IS intelligence? Getting straight A’s all the time? It’s not a very appropriate measure of intelligence, is it? And yet this is the only way society measures intelligence. What about someone who loves to learn? Who loves knowledge, who loves studying things NOT for the sake of exams? And yet maybe since that person doesn’t study for the sake of exams, that person doesn’t do as well as another person, who on the contrary does study for the sake of exams and for no other reason? Who is more intelligent? There are many things I’d love to read in my textbooks for the sake of knowing it, and some people might think I’m crazy. Like, who does that kind of stuff for FUN? For entertainment? Surely someone mad. I find that the more I immerse myself in studying for the sake of getting that overrated "A", the less time I have to occupy my mind with things that I’d want to know just for the sake of that - knowing.
I always had this sort of illusion in my mind that straight A’s would prove something to people. And it does - oh it does - but after all this time I have just realized that the only person it hasn’t been able to prove anything to is myself. After all this while I still have this sort of… inferiority complex. Like I always think I’m not good enough. Never good enough. As long as I am not the best, I’m not good. I always had this kind of mentality that girls should either be very pretty or very smart. Since I never thought of myself as something "very pretty" I just concentrated on developing my "intelligence" with the hopes that I would always have something to fall back upon - as if being "intelligent" would make me more likeable. This has worked in the contrary for me. I thought that even if the world fell out around me, even if my life shattered into pieces, even if everything just went wrong, at least I would be intelligent, and that would matter above all else. It turns out I could never be more wrong about anything in my life.
Perfectionism - how do I break out of it?
Discipline - where can I find it?
Confidence - why don’t I have it?
Intelligence - what exactly is it?
April 28th, 2006 at 12:59 pm
clairine… no 1 is perfect… i really dunno wat 2 say but i felt lyk talkin… =)… intelligence - what exactly is it? intelligence is jz a 12 letter word it has no exact meaning. but in dictiornary.com it says intelligence is:
# The capacity to acquire and apply knowledge.
# The faculty of thought and reason.
# Superior powers of mind.
neway who cares bout all of dis… 4 me intelligence is nth(it’s jz an opinion no offence), lyk there is no way 2 measure love there is no way 2 measure intelligence… a person who is bad at scoring at xms doesn’t mean he is not intelligent he might b good at sumtin else(bet u heard dis a million times d)… if u think it’s 2 hard 4 u den stop i am not advicin u it’s jz my opinion… haf u ever tot of hw life cud b after college or uni??? if u dun take life seriously(n studyin, pushing urself jz 2 score 4 xm is a worthless effort) adults who went 2 uni always say uni life is the best time of their life… imagine when u look bck at ur uni life in 10-20 yrs 2 come felt lyk tellin ur kids all those crazy stuff mom did during uni and all u can think off is go 2 class, go home study, xm comes take xm holiday go 4 a vacation or stay at home reading books… it’s not lyk i wanna tell u dat my life haf anything interestin but den i do feel dat studyin every single day n pushin myself jz 2 score 4 xm is jz not worthit… y not do the stuff i lyk eventho i noe i wil nvr score at it or b the world champion or sumtin lyk dat.. but who cares i love doin it… lyk wat u say sum ppl lyk 2 study yes so if the love 2 study den study but den if u dun den dun force urself… even albert einstein doesn’t score in his xm or wateva he took last time… he is a genius but wat he did is his research n study wat he loves 2 study n dat’s physics(einstein doesn’t noe everything bout physics he jz love a partial of it)… bt yes he did excel in wat he loves… he found his talent he put his talent 2 the best capability… not every1 in dis world can find wat they r good in n those who found out n work hard 2 b good in it they r the genius… every1 in the world is born intelligent(it doesn’t matter hw u classify it) but yes every1 is born wit intelligence… but hw they live thru their life is the b4 the day they die is where they prove 2 the world dat they used their intelligence in all mean… haih sorry 4 crappin so much useless stuff… all i wanna say is live ur life 2 the fullest… live it the way u want it dun push urself kay… every1 deserve a 2nd chance… sumtin 4 u 2 ponder:
You will never look at a cup coffee the same way
again..
A young woman went to her mother and told her
about her life and how things were so hard for her.
She did not know how she was going to make it
and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting
and struggling. It seemed as one problem was
solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three
pots with water, and placed each on a high fire.
Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed
carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the
last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them
sit and boil, without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.
She fished the carrots out and placed them in a
bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in
a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed
it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she
asked, “Tell me, what do you see?”
“Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied. Her
mother brought her closer and asked her to feel
the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.
The mother then asked the daughter to take an
egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she
observed the hardboiled egg. Finally, the mother
asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter
smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter
then asked, “What does it mean, mother?” Her
mother explained that each of these objects had
faced the same adversity … boiling water. Each
reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard,
and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to
the boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile.
Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior,
but after sitting
through the boiling water, its inside became
hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however.
After they were in the boiling water, they had
changed the water.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter.
“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you
respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee
bean?”
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that
seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt
and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the
egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes
with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a
death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some
other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does
my shell look the same, but on the inside am I
bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened
heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean
actually changes
the hot water, the very circumstance that brings
the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the
fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when
things are at their worst, you get better and
change the situation around you. When the hour is
the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you
elevate yourself to another level?
How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an
egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you
sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough
sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to
make you happy.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the
best of everything; they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always be based on a
forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you
let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and
everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is
smiling and everyone around you is crying. You
might want to send this message to those people
who mean something to you; to those who have
touched your life in one way or another; to those
who make you smile when you really need it; to
those who make you see the brighter side of
things when you are really down; to
those whose friendship you appreciate; to those
who are so meaningful in your life.
cya around clairine… hope u read dis… take care…
all the best,
aaron
May 11th, 2006 at 3:55 am
Aaron you are so so so… nice and thoughtful and caring and such a good friend… thanks for your advice and for reading my blog and for posting such a long long comment.